Fashion Loves …

20 Jun

Ohhhh I am LOVING that the seventies are back with the wide leg trousers and jeans.  They look SO HOT!!!  Especially if you got them long legs.  Not to mention … this type of pant is the perfect style for my body type!!!  Time to go shopping 😀

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Soul Searching

20 Jun

Circumstances and situations do color life but you have been given the mind to choose what the color shall be.

John Homer Miller

I always come back to this —-> My dream of getting out of the “small town city” that I live in and venturing off to the “Big City of New York”.  You’re probably thinking that this dream is pretty cliche and unoriginal, since I’m sure, this is the dream of millions of people in the world.  But this is the city that I have imagined myself in for the last few years of my life. 

The dream is always at the back of my mind and I think about it all the time but I kind of just shove it to the side and think of it as a “yaaa … maybe one day”.  Coincidentally (or maybe not), I start having extremely strong attractions to this city when something ain’t right in my life.  When I’m down and feeling shitty, usually the first thought that I think is that I should get out of Calgary, go and do what I have been dreaming of for years, instead of living in this shithole wondering if I’ll ever make it or wondering what would happen if I did.

I don’t know if this is my mind just wishful thinking … if it’s my subconscious trying to run away from bad situations instead of dealing with what’s in front of me … or if it’s fate that things don’t go right for me here in Calgary, because that’s not the path that I should be on and my heart is luring me to my dream. 

I will be visiting New York City in just a little over 2 months (67 days to be exact).  Maybe I won’t come home.  Maybe I’ll realize it’s not for me.  But you never know unless you try, right!? 

My Thoughts In A Song…

17 Jun

Can you tell I’m missing someone? 

PS – Lenny Kravitz is the sexiest man alive.

Weddings

17 Jun

I’m currently the Maid of Honor for the third time in the last 4 years.

After 4 years of being a bridesmaid as well as attending other weddings and spending thousands of dollars on the dresses and the shoes and the gifts and the showers and the stagettes and the list goes on … I’ve decided that I will NEVER, EVER have a wedding.  What a waste of time, money, patience and extra added stress over one fucking (excuse my language) day. 

Now, I’m all for marriage and the idea of marriage.  I love the thought of committing yourself to this one person, your soul mate, that you will spend the rest of your life with.  That gives me goosebumps.  To love someone so much, that you know you only want to be with them forever.  I definitely want to be married one day but I repeat, I DO NOT and WILL NOT have this huge blowout wedding that so many women have been dreaming of since they can remember.

My idea of a wedding will be my soon to be husband and I on a beach somewhere, saying our vows to one another and committing ourselves to each other.  No guests.  I believe marriage is about those 2 people and those 2 people only.  It’s not about the other 250 people (sometimes more or less) that attend your wedding.  It’s not important to me to “share our love for one another” with my family and friends.  My close family and friends should already know what we have.  They don’t need to see the confirmation.

When the time comes, I don’t want a dress, or bridal party, or a shower, or stagette.  No invitations, center pieces, party favors, cake.  Nothing.  I don’t want any of it. 

Just something simple and for him to say “I do”.

I’m all EMO and shit …

16 Jun

I’m in a funk.  

I’ve created a chain reaction of negativity in my life … one bad thing happened and I started analyzing every other aspect and pointing out everything that is wrong with it.  I’m well aware that this is all in my head and I know that I’m the only one that can control my feelings.  In all honesty though, I’ve been trying really hard to make positive choices and take necessary steps that will help me feel better about my shitty mood, but this dark rain cloud is just sitting over my head and my heart and it won’t go away.

I’m starting to feel sorry for my friends because I feel like I’m becoming that “Negative Friend”.  Everytime you talk to me I’m just grumpy or grouchy or complaining about something.  Even some of my co-workers have made comments that I’ve been “down” and “melancholy” lately.  Understandable, since when I’m at work, I’m not motivated at all.  I just sit and stare at my computer screen all day.  At home, my family is always asking me what’s wrong.  My usual answer is nothing. 

I’m just BLAH!  Hopefully this passes soon.  I listen to this song though, and it makes me feel better 🙂

Makeup Pics

13 Jun

Here are some pics of a bridal makeup I did this past weekend…

I Miss You

13 Jun

“I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart so long.  If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can play together all night.” ~Bill Watterson