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Soul Searching

20 Jun

Circumstances and situations do color life but you have been given the mind to choose what the color shall be.

John Homer Miller

I always come back to this —-> My dream of getting out of the “small town city” that I live in and venturing off to the “Big City of New York”.  You’re probably thinking that this dream is pretty cliche and unoriginal, since I’m sure, this is the dream of millions of people in the world.  But this is the city that I have imagined myself in for the last few years of my life. 

The dream is always at the back of my mind and I think about it all the time but I kind of just shove it to the side and think of it as a “yaaa … maybe one day”.  Coincidentally (or maybe not), I start having extremely strong attractions to this city when something ain’t right in my life.  When I’m down and feeling shitty, usually the first thought that I think is that I should get out of Calgary, go and do what I have been dreaming of for years, instead of living in this shithole wondering if I’ll ever make it or wondering what would happen if I did.

I don’t know if this is my mind just wishful thinking … if it’s my subconscious trying to run away from bad situations instead of dealing with what’s in front of me … or if it’s fate that things don’t go right for me here in Calgary, because that’s not the path that I should be on and my heart is luring me to my dream. 

I will be visiting New York City in just a little over 2 months (67 days to be exact).  Maybe I won’t come home.  Maybe I’ll realize it’s not for me.  But you never know unless you try, right!?