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My Thoughts In A Song…

17 Jun

Can you tell I’m missing someone? 

PS – Lenny Kravitz is the sexiest man alive.

Weddings

17 Jun

I’m currently the Maid of Honor for the third time in the last 4 years.

After 4 years of being a bridesmaid as well as attending other weddings and spending thousands of dollars on the dresses and the shoes and the gifts and the showers and the stagettes and the list goes on … I’ve decided that I will NEVER, EVER have a wedding.  What a waste of time, money, patience and extra added stress over one fucking (excuse my language) day. 

Now, I’m all for marriage and the idea of marriage.  I love the thought of committing yourself to this one person, your soul mate, that you will spend the rest of your life with.  That gives me goosebumps.  To love someone so much, that you know you only want to be with them forever.  I definitely want to be married one day but I repeat, I DO NOT and WILL NOT have this huge blowout wedding that so many women have been dreaming of since they can remember.

My idea of a wedding will be my soon to be husband and I on a beach somewhere, saying our vows to one another and committing ourselves to each other.  No guests.  I believe marriage is about those 2 people and those 2 people only.  It’s not about the other 250 people (sometimes more or less) that attend your wedding.  It’s not important to me to “share our love for one another” with my family and friends.  My close family and friends should already know what we have.  They don’t need to see the confirmation.

When the time comes, I don’t want a dress, or bridal party, or a shower, or stagette.  No invitations, center pieces, party favors, cake.  Nothing.  I don’t want any of it. 

Just something simple and for him to say “I do”.

I’m all EMO and shit …

16 Jun

I’m in a funk.  

I’ve created a chain reaction of negativity in my life … one bad thing happened and I started analyzing every other aspect and pointing out everything that is wrong with it.  I’m well aware that this is all in my head and I know that I’m the only one that can control my feelings.  In all honesty though, I’ve been trying really hard to make positive choices and take necessary steps that will help me feel better about my shitty mood, but this dark rain cloud is just sitting over my head and my heart and it won’t go away.

I’m starting to feel sorry for my friends because I feel like I’m becoming that “Negative Friend”.  Everytime you talk to me I’m just grumpy or grouchy or complaining about something.  Even some of my co-workers have made comments that I’ve been “down” and “melancholy” lately.  Understandable, since when I’m at work, I’m not motivated at all.  I just sit and stare at my computer screen all day.  At home, my family is always asking me what’s wrong.  My usual answer is nothing. 

I’m just BLAH!  Hopefully this passes soon.  I listen to this song though, and it makes me feel better 🙂

I need a Zen moment…

13 Dec

I don’t know what the hell my problem is today, but apparently I hate everybody.  You would think I would be in an amazing mood since I am leaving for my Hawaiian vacation in 2 days, but it’s just one of those days!!!

Annoyance #1 – I was listening to the radio at work and that new Rihanna and Drake “What’s My Name” song came on.  I already can’t stand Drake as it is, and when he started to rap, I literally wanted to rip my own ears off.  I’ve never really listened to the lyrics before and the second line of his verse is “Yea you know word of mouth”, but Drake says mouf, as if the word ends with an F.  Dude seriously, I googled you and it says that you attended one of the most prestigious high schools in Toronto.  I’m pretty sure that you are well aware that “TH” put together does NOT create an F sound.  I don’t know what you’re trying to prove, but you are an educated person, so pronouce you’re f*ing words properly.  And I did NOT know your name was Aubrey!! 

Annoyance #2 – OK, don’t know what is up with the ladies in my office building today.  Girls, if you’re going to do something nasty in the bathroom, please have the courtesy to flush the f*ing toilet.  It’s not a hard concept.  It’s common sense and it’s down right rude and disgusting when you don’t.

Annoyance #3 – My wonderfully socially awkward co-worker, who can’t handle social situations, got our divisional lunch cancelled this week.  I work in a division where it is almost near impossible to get all 10 of us to be available for a lunch on the same day, but we were finally able to find a day before Christmas and before everyone goes on holidays and of course, Debbie Downer had to ruin the whole f*ing thing.  And now a new one won’t be planned until much later in the new year.  Thanks B*tch.

2 more days.  2 more days.  2 more days!!!!!!