5 Nov

I was bbm-ing with one of my good friends the other day, who happens to be 26 and single.  She started telling me this story about how she had a meeting with some man at work and he started asking her personal questions.  He asked her if she was married?  She said no.  Serious relationship?  Again, she replied no.  He then said “Well, if you join a dating website right now, then you still have time to meet someone, fall in love and have kids before it’s too late.”

Wow.  Ok, before what is too late??  She’s not 89 years old and on her death-bed.  She’s 26 and still very young.  She has plenty of time to have children and get married.  This subject annoys me because I’m single too and I can totally relate to this conversation.  I hear comments like this all the time.

It’s like if you’re over 25 and single, your world is coming to an end.  When people find out you’re single, they look at you with that pitiful face like they just found a lost puppy and you get that “Awwww, don’t worry…you’ll find someone.”  OK, well first of all I didn’t say that I was worried, I said I was single.  And secondly, you don’t need to “awwww” me because I’m not a lost puppy.  I’m single and you know what, that’s OK!!!

I don’t get why being single has turned into such a bad thing.  Personally for me, and for the few single girls that I know, it’s a good thing that we’re single.  We’ve come from past relationships that weren’t healthy for us and obviously didn’t work out for many reasons.  Now is it really that bad that we’re single??  Or should we have stayed in these crappy situations just so we don’t have to check the single status box??  I would like to think it’s better off for people to be alone than to be in an unhappy relationship.

Now I’m not saying that I want to be single forever.  Of course I want to find a great guy and fall in love and be in a committed relationship.  But I’m kind of getting sick of people acting like it’s sad and pathetic to be alone.   Or that we’re “running out of time”.

Why does relationship status even need to come up in conversation??  Unless you’re one of my good friends, it’s really none of your business.  Yet, it seems to be a staple question in every conversation lately.  Can’t we talk about something else??  I can honestly say that I don’t ask people for that personal information.  If they want to tell me about their relationships, marriages or single life on their own terms, that’s great.  But I definitely don’t pry.  Maybe it’s because I don’t like getting asked, so I refrain from doing it myself.  I hate when someone asks me that burning question and they respond with WHY when they hear my answer.  Ummm I’d rather not get into the reasons of why I’m single with you, especially when I’m just trying to heat up my lunch at work.  How about we just skip over to the next topic. Look, all I know is that I’m getting close to 30, I’m single and I’m actually happy.  I don’t wake up every day thinking that I have a terrible life because I’m not with someone.  I haven’t made it my lifetime goal to find a man just because according to some people, not being married with child by the age of 30, means your life is pretty much over.  I know that I’m not going to be single forever and eventually, whether it’s sooner or later, I will meet someone.  And when the right guy comes along, it will be great.  But until that happens, spare me the pity party.  I’m not dying, I’m just single.



One Response to “Single”

  1. Natalie November 6, 2010 at 10:58 AM #

    THANK YOU. This post is awesome. I definitely relate to the pitful looks, the “awwww’s” and the “you’ll find someone great”. I know I’ll find someone great! That’s why I’m single; because the last guys didn’t measure up to my standards, and I don’t wish to settle just so I have a date to parties and the movies. Thank you for saying everything I want to say to the single lady haters out there!

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